Syndicated Columnist Misses the Point…

Posted on 20. Nov, 2008 by Kelly in Personal Safety

On November 18, an article appeared in Amy Dickenson’s Chicago Tribune column (formerly Ann Landers) that really sent the wrong message!

http://www.chicagotribune.com/features/columnists/advice/chi-ask-amy-1118nov18,0,7868013.column (second letter)

A woman (Pink Cast) wanted Amy to tell people to call 911 when they see someone being attacked. This is okay but the reason this woman wrote was that she was upset that no one had called for help while she was being attacked by her ex verbally, mentally, emotionally and physically abusive boyfriend that she chose to (get this) REMAIN “FRIENDS” WITH!

Amy agreed with the under-usage of the 911 system and all but blamed witnesses and by-standers for this woman getting hurt.

MY OPINION: Someone who abuses you verbally, mentally, emotionally and physically IS NOT FRIEND MATERIAL!!!

This woman needed to be directed to her own self-esteem and self-respect with possible ways to raise both instead of getting agreement that the rest of us should be responsible for saving the day when someone intentionally puts themselves in ridiculously dangerous situations!

Personal Safety is our own responsibility, NOT someone elses. I’m all for calling 911 but a bad choice from low self-esteem was the issue, not the by-standers!

Agree? Disagree? Leave me a comment (and your website if you like)

Be Safe!
Kelly Rudolph, “Your Personal Safety Trainer”

Tags: 911, abuses, abusive, amy dickenson, attacked, chicago tribune, Personal Safety, self-esteem, self-respect

5 Responses to “Syndicated Columnist Misses the Point…”

Mark

20. Nov, 2008

I agree with you Kelly. I am continually amazed at how many good people choose bad friends, especially women who are intrigued by “bad boys.”
Shelly

21. Nov, 2008

I completely agree with your statement about “personal safety is our own responsibility, NOT someone elses.” Of course, anyone reading the story feels a bit sorry for the woman who was attacked, by her “friend”. However, it’s clear that she’s playing the blame-game (and being supported in so doing) rather than taking responsibility for her own poor choices. Sad to say too but seems to be the mentality of our times.
Kelly

22. Nov, 2008

I agree with the 911 statement but the 911 should start with you. When you are suffering abuse you’re your own 911 and you have the ability to control and end the situation in its early stages and rescue yourself. I do however feel sad for the woman who went through this and sincerely pray that she is receiving proper care while experiencing healing physically and emotionally. As soon as she realizes her self worth and just how wonderful she truly is, she will step into the victorious life she deserves.
Sue

25. Nov, 2008

I completely agree that we are responsible for our own safety, and that is why I am so impressed with the perspective that you teach from. It is OUR responsibility. I feel for people like Pink Cast, because they don’t understand it and they may likely continue to experience the same problems over and over throughout their lifetime. Thank you for the reminder, and I hope that your message reaches more people because it will save many people from these situations.
Please continue spreading your insights!
Arletha Skinner

08. Jun, 2010

Hi kelly,
Today some people still have the mentality that women are asking to be abused by their mates. I know of one situation where the lady worked for Safe and she stayed in an abusive relationship. Her ex-husband tried to kill her by pouring kersene on her and setting her on fire. This is my opinion, that women stay in abusive situations because they have been abused before,physically, emotionally, or sexually in their homes. To me most abusers choose also, women who are naive, passive , and have low-self-esteem. Yes, call 911, when you she someone being attacked , but be prepared to deal with the person not going through with the charges and their anger with you for calling the police.