We often reprimand or punish someone who criticizes people in front of others, bullies, verbally berates or in other ways attacks. It is necessary but does that really help? Usually, NO.
Why do attackers attack? Low self-esteem.
What happens when they get reprimanded? They are receiving the attention they seek for their self-esteem boost and power fix.
What would be more beneficial than reprimanding? Build the attacker’s self-esteem aside from the attack.
For example: An adult is criticizing a child in front of others. The child will, obviously, need work on his or her self-esteem due to the attack but THE ADULT needs work on their own self-esteem or they wouldn’t be attacking in the first place.
Have you ever befriended someone who was angry and attacking by asking them how they do something else so well?
For example: A woman gave me “the look” the other day, which told me that whatever I am is not what she feels comfortable around. If you are a woman, you know “the look” and have probably given it yourself on occasion. I asked her to help me with something she was doing really well and she softened up and we got along fine. This is because she felt validated.
This happened once in a martial arts class with a girl whose home dojo I was a guest in. I was having a great time and the more fun I had, the madder she got. We hadn’t spoken to one another.
At lunch, I decided to kill her with kindness and I asked her all about her training and if she could show me where something was kept in the dojo. She lite up like I was her new best friend. She just needed to be acknowleded. We all need that on occasion.
Tell me your stories of befriending someone who gave you “the look” in the comments area.
One of my wonderful Safety Quick Tips subscribers alerted me to a local (in her area) newspaper article about at Student of The Month they were profiling.
The problem is that the paper gave MANY details about the student, including her age, family, church, hobbies, school, etc. The article divulged enough information that a predator could easily speak with her and come across as a family friend in order to get close to her.
Please scan and send me any articles you find like the one my subscriber sent me! We can alert the media to the dangers of sharing too much info.
We all too often stay too long, allow ourselves to be spoken to harshly, do things we shouldn’t to please someone else and listen to people tell us that their view of life should be ours as well.
This is us allowing attacks on our own self-esteem, emotional attacks because we have yet to realize how valuable we are.
Below are lyrics to my new favorite song with a fabulous message!!! Enjoy…
Chad Kroeger / Nickelback:
“If Today Was Your Last Day”
My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day’s a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride
If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
If today was your last day
Against the grain should be a way of life
What’s worth the prize is always worth the fight
Every second counts ’cause there’s no second try
So live like you’ll never live it twice
Don’t take the free ride in your own life
If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you’re dreamin’ of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day
If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it’s never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are
So do whatever it takes
‘Cause you can’t rewind a moment in this life
Let nothin’ stand in your way
Cause the hands of time are never on your side
If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you’re dreamin’ of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day
The same thing applies to Awareness. Although Prevention is 90% awareness, if you lack confident body language and a survivor mindset, all you are aware of is that you may be in danger.
When this happens, you become fearful. Remember that fear is the most dangerous mindset of all and attracts attackers!
Practice confident body language and quick thinking strategies so that your awareness can work its magic for your safety!
Who would think that the same exact skills and strategies that can help you to be pu to 95% safer from verbal, mental, emotional and physical attack also improve your self-esteem, self-confidence, physical health, communication and every relationship in your life?
If you use the internet (oh, here you are now!), have children, teens, siblings or parents, you’ll want to check out my new program!
On Sunday, April 19, I met with KFMB Channel 8 San Diego to discuss the attack of a young woman walking down the street.
It was a random attack, with the intent to rape. Random attacks are more uncommon than attacks by someone the victim knows. That means the attacker was quite dangerous and unpredictable.
Fortunately, the attacker was arrested on Wednesday, April 22.
This attack was from behind and the woman survived by fighting back but was pistol whipped in the process and admitted into the hospital with head injuries.
Some of the safety tips I shared about this situation:
If someone grabs you from behind to drag you, pull down on their arm to make an airway for yourself. You may be able to turn your head and put your windpipe area in the elbow area of the attacker for easier breathing.
You may need to wait for an opportunity to strike or escape so keep breathing and thinking.
Submission is a valid choice if you feel you’d be hurt worse or killed by fighting back.
You have weapons on you; arms, elbows, hands, legs, feet, knees and head to fight with if you choose to do so.
While we put our friends and family numbers in our cell phones, remember to add close friends of your parents, kids and siblings in case of emergency.
Think of people you’d need to contact if something happened to someone you love and have their close friend’s numbers in your phone. If there was an accident with your brother’s best friend, who would you need to notify or call to help?
You can put them into a specific “group” or “folder” on your phone so you won’t accidentally call them.
Be Safe!
Kelly Rudolph, “Your Personal Safety Trainer”
I just received my America’s Most Wanted email update and read about Jeffrey Marshall who killed a woman named Elizabeth “Lynne” Waterson in my hometown of Fresno, CA in 2007.
What interested me about the story is how much this killer could do to his victim with what he’d learned about technology working at a cell phone store! It’s scary. Read the whole story…
This story will appear on America’s Most Wanted again on Saturday, April 4, 2009.
Our failures affect our self-esteem and that affects our safety. Who would’ve thought something that happened 10, 20 or 30 years ago could affect our safety TODAY?
It can! When we feel weak or fearful because something today triggered those feelings from long ago, we become good victim prospects for attackers just based on body language alone!
Here’s a great empowering solution I learned from a billionaire who lost it all and is on his way to becoming the country’s first 2nd time billionaire.
Draw a line down the middle of a piece of paper
Write your failures on the left side and your successes on the right
If you learned from a failure cross it out and put it on the right in the success column
You will find that you have many more successes than failures
And remember, successful people have just had more failures and learned from them.
When you feel more successful:
You carry yourself with more confidence
You smile more
You have more fun
You’re more fun to be around, which equals more friends
And best of all…YOU REPEL MOST ATTACKERS because they still feel like failures and don’t want to hang out with you!
To always failing forward!
Kelly Rudolph, “Your Personal Safety Trainer”
Chad Kroeger / Nickelback:
On Sunday, April 19, I met with KFMB Channel 8 San Diego to discuss the attack of a young woman walking down the street.
